Quintessential Thinker
It has been a few days, since 19th nov and i dont think i can ever forget the previous night!After a long day at college and hanging out with my friends, i came home and realized i hadnt bought any present for my daddy's 51st birthday!

Confused and clueless about what i wanted to do, i decided to bake a cake for daddy while he and mom were going out. I AM expert at baking cakes... and whoever ate them would say just one thing... "hmmm yummmy"!! In case you're wondering.. i'm talkin about baking the ready made cakes.. you know betty crocker and stuff...>??? so i went on to call my friend and ask his mom to help me with baking a cake from the scratch!

I got the recipe but i was clueless about whether or not i had all the required ingredients for baking this cake...out of all love and affection. i go down to the kitchen and search through all the cupboards looking for the ingredients one by one. i looked through the blue and red capped plastic containers which had different kinds of pulses, white, yellow, ocre etc coloured powder which in a language known i'd call them rawa, besan, flour etc etc. there were empty containers as well, and i knew somehow that one of those empty boxes had to be that of maida.

I was talking to my friend , correction... arguing with my friend who was trying to tell me how to find maida. of course being a home science student has definitely helped me to an extent that i know how to figure out what powder is what. But no the great ego of the opposite sex has to come in somewhere in a conversation. So the conversation went on and i finally figured i was out of Maida and i couldnt bake the cake, i just had to! so i picked up my phone and called for help... the help was my servant maid! a cartoon to beat all cartoon's that are dubbed in hindi on pogo or on cartoon network. Oh well she's another story all together but she was of great help because she told me where the maida was and saved me a lot of trouble looking for it. man!! what phones can do sometimes! it amazes me!!

well to cut a long story short... i baked the cake with loads of guff ups...for instance, i used NUTRILITE instead of WHITE BUTTER!! not to forget i melted the butter for 30 seconds instead of melting it by putting hot water. i used a lot more than 170 gms of butter... so you can think how badly i messed up with the ingriedents! but if u cant wait till i'm done with writing... anyways getting back to the topic, i used less baking powder and veryy little maida and eggs i used just enough... just enough to screw it up even more. ah wait! the eggs!! i broke one in the batter and there were shells in it as well...but thankfully with the help of a knife and fork.. i managed to get them all out! the batter when finally ready was a little to rubbery and after adding a little milk and vanilla essence, it got 10 times worse!! phew that's a story! te best part was, i had loads of fun trying to bake my first cake from the scratch! well the best part was also that dad actually liked the cake and he had said it was the closest the cake had got to eating a butter sandwich! yeah! dad was being really nice and he ate it!!so did mom and my two doggies.

so that's the story of my unfortunate and disastrous adventure of baking a cake!!
Quintessential Thinker
THE ART OF SUCKING UP!

Inspired to write about this unusual habit that I have often observed in people, I decided it was time to write an article to bring to notice to everyone about this habit called SUCKING UP!
It’s a funny thing this “sucking up “ people do...it’s a form of art in its own way..Henceforth, the title THE ART OF SUCKING UP!

Yes, I said The Art of Sucking up. But before I move onto what i think about this art of sucking up is, here’s a so called definition of sucking up that i read somewhere...
” Sucking up is an unusual trait to attribute to a team player, but you will be surprised to learn that the best players actually resort to it every now and then.”
To put this definition in simple words, of course according to what I think... sucking up is a trait of sheer over-board of flattery with a motive behind it.

It’s funny how when sitting a midst of a group of friends, one notices how each of the friends is different from the other. One can actually notice who’s sucking up to whom but honestly, how many people are aware that their being sucked up to. What I do not understand is why people have to suck up to others. Do people suck up to others for getting things done? Do they suck up for being in someone’s good books??

I was browsing through a site and something interesting caught my attention, it was an article about how people should suck-up and had three basic principles one should adhere when it comes to sucking up. I couldn’t help but take note of it. The principles were:
Give praise only when you mean it.
Show it sparingly.
Do it in a manner that will not offend any onlookers.

I don’t understand why would anyone need principles to learn how to suck up to people?

I think when people suck up, they’re just simply faking who they really are. But why be someone else. Speaking of being someone else, I remember Kurt Cobain said, “being someone else is wasting who you are”. But just the opposite is happening, people tend to suck up so much that they end up forgetting themselves and with time, the real person within fades away. Think about it, how many people do you know, are trying to be like someone else or their sucking up to another person?
Maybe a few, say out of 10 friends, 4. Which means, that in a few years time out of those four genuine people, thanks to the influence of the others, we’ll have probably just one or if we’re lucky two people who are being themselves? My calculations maybe wrong but again this is seriously something we should think about. I know i haven’t much to do but when i thought about it... i realized that i do really know not one but say five or six people who fake everything about themselves and suck up to people just to get something done from them!

My question to the people reading this is, have we forgotten who we really are from within? Whatever happened to being ourselves? The real us? Has the real person from within us gone out of the picture because of various influences? Have we given up on the other ways of getting things that we need to suck up to people?
Quintessential Thinker
Pretty from within,
Smart in my own ways,
Friendly like no other,
not making any difference
that's who I think I am.

Cute like the ugly ogre
sweet and loving to no end
Underestimated by others
that's who I think I am.

Completely better off alone
that's who I think I am
a free bird,soaring high (in my own world)
that's who I think I am.

Carefree and living life my way
that's who I think I am.
I know who I am but there's doubt
about who I think I am.

Who I think I am ,
does that really matter?
Quintessential Thinker


Filled with despair and misery

She sat looking blankly at the door

She pleaded for peace and beg for her space

But she got neither

A red blotch of paint trickled down her wrist

But felt no pain

She felt life deceived her;

By not giving her the happiness she wanted

Life never gave what she wanted but in return

Pain, dejection and depression is what she got

She felt helpless and hopeless cos

Life never gave her anything but sorrows

Life, she thought was unfair and full of vain

Her mind clouded by her empty thoughts,

Her walls closing in, on her

Nothing but sorrow, nothing but pain, she felt lonely

Scared of letting light in her life

She sits in the dark corner of her mind

Expressionless and thoughtless

She sat motionless all through

Ignorant and anguished,

Wretchedness and heartache is all she felt

Darkness over shadowed her life,

She felt nothing but pain,

She was cut off from the happiness and excitement in life

She lay thoughtless now,

Still and dead-like

Life for her was vengeful, sorrowful and grievous

All she ever wanted from life was happiness and to be loved

She was torn between her life but never did she speak about it;

Never did she share or speak about what she felt

And never did she ever speak bout what she went through- the darkness of sorrow.

7/11/07
Quintessential Thinker

picture taken at TARAMATI BARADARI , Hyderabad.
Quintessential Thinker
I decided to let go... I decided to break free...
I decided to open my eyes and smells the roses
But everything came crashing down...

I decided to make myself a stronger person and cry no more
I decided I'd give away all of me and bring out a new me
But everything came crashing down...

I decided to gather my thoughts and make more of life
I decided to gather myself and get myself back together
But something happened and it all came crashing down...

I decided to ride the wave and move on
I decided to move on as life came my way...
But everything came crashing down...

I decided to get out of this muddled days...
I decided to wipe away all my tears and get rid of them
But then I came crashing down

I decided not to shed anymore tears but give more love than receive
I decided I'd help myself up on my own and stand alone
But then something came over me and everything came crashing down...
(23-3-06)
Quintessential Thinker
It was cold and scary out there...
But I didn’t see you standing near me to help me fight away my fears.
It was raining and I was shedding my tears and
I still didn’t see you there to wipe away my tears.

It was a moment of pain and hurt...
And I didn’t see you anywhere close to banish the hurt I was going through.
It was a moment of sadness and sorrow...
And I didn’t see you anywhere around to,
although I had everyone...I didn’t have you.

It was a time where I lost myself and wanted your help in finding myself
It was a time where I gave up on life and wanted help in getting back to myself...
But there was no sign of you.

It was the worst days of my life...
And I needed the comfort and the light...
Which I thought would be you
But no light came through from anywhere...
I gave up!

It was the time where I was being judged by myself about me
But I knew I'd be okay if I was holding your hand...
There was no hand nor anyone.

I sit lost in thought of where I went wrong
And think whether I'm expecting too much from you.
I sit so lost in thought about why I care whether you’re in my life or not...

I think to myself why I expect you to understand me... or do you?
Not a word said nor spoken...
I know you hear me and understand me
But when you don’t say anything...
Why does it hurt?
Why does it hurt when we don’t talk...
I know you hear me every time I talk
But why does that stop you from talking?
(22-3-06)
Quintessential Thinker
It’s me against the world
That’s how I feel...
It’s me against my life
That's how things seem...
Its me against my wishes
That’s how I can see things!

It’s me against the world
Turning its back on me...
It’s me against my life
Life's taking the wrong path...
It’s me against my wishes
Their coming undone

It’s me against the world
One on one...
It’s me against the world
Just me alone
It’s me against the world


(7-4-06)
Quintessential Thinker
I'm sitting here in front of the only thing that has no say in my life
Or doesn't scream at me or say anything to me...
The computer...
Its an important thing in my life for a simple reason cos
I get to write a lot and abuse it...
I could sit and cry in front of the computer and it wont ever tell...
I could sit and write what my thoughts are and it wont snitch.

Life for everyone else around me is fully hectic
And it seems so weird that I feel neglected... and I can’t tell...
I can’t tell for the people I care for the most might just laugh it off...
My heart hurts from a heart break and I still can’t feel love around me...
I do but I don't at the same time...
There's a motion of stillness in the air and
Unspoken words don't get through to People anymore...

They ask to speak up if I feel neglected but what happens even then...
I'm left feeling even worse for nothings cleared up...
My minds filled with questions and unanswered doubts...
Doubts bout life... bout love... bout friendship... bout relationship with my family...
There's no one to hear me... no one to reply back to me...

Where is the love?
Where is the one person whom I can just pour my heart out?
Where is the light of my life... the apple of my eye??
Where are the happy times I deserve?
Where are the times everyone cared??
Why do I feel neglected...
A lot of people love me but unintentionally they hurt me...
When will I get the answers to my questions?

Everything's let alone...
I sit here at the computer writing this blog and crying my tears out...
How much more time will it take for me to get what I want...The love that I need??
Whatever happens happens for our own good is how the saying goes?
But what good is not being loved and being neglected...
Get me out of this feeling of loneliness...
Get me out of this horrid feeling of being neglected...all I ask for is ...
To be loved and to love...
(26-10-06)
Quintessential Thinker
Staring back at herself, she looked blankly
Her eyes filled with unflowed tears
A meek smile smeared across her face
She looks at herself with shame and disgust
The complete opposite of what she looks like
Hidden beauty seen only through the mirror image
Indescribable beauty, the never ending smile on her face.
The gorgeous and astonishing face seenall hidden under her skin.
(19-11-06)